I struggle to trust in others, because I have been let down by many adults in my life.
This has a chain reaction in many aspects of my life.
I start to doubt my ability to make the ‘right’ decisions and choices.
Impacting on my self confidence, self belief and the way I feel others see me.
Eventually impacting on my mental health.
Self regulating these emotions of rejection and confusion feels like a huge Mount Everest to conquer.
Those standing on the sideline often say that ‘ That’s one of Life Lessons’ and ‘It’s moments like this that builds resilience’
Comments like these have been dismissive of my feelings.
Making me feel that I do not have the right to feel this way.
Leaving the impression that I deserve to feel this way.
Instead of processing and making sense of the situation and all these emotions, I shove them deep down inside.
Hiding my feelings away so tight.
So tight that I never have the chance to learn how to navigate or make sense of these emotions.
Never having the chance to make sense of how these situations eventuated or unfolded.
Never learning those important life skills needed to navigate, a sustainable adult life later on.
Majority of the time, I don’t give myself permission to feel anything.
Using Equine Assisted Therapy as a reflective approach with my Counsellor.
I have started to develop skills to identify, validate, process, and understand my emotions and start to trust my own decisions and abilities.
I am starting to identify and avoid the red lights and find more green lights.